alt_bill | Order Only: Private message to Rachel Brodie

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All right then? You've been rather quiet all week.

I know it's a lot to take in, and rearranging the mental furniture when you get a huge load of information dumped on you at once can take a lot of energy. Especially when you have to carry on as normal in front of Lestrange, Mulciber, etcetera, as usual.

I'll leave you be if that's what you'd prefer. But if you want to talk, or ask questions or--or anything...I'm right here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

alt_rachel

Oh, I'm rather accustomed to carrying on as usual.

Mostly I'm worried that I'll miss something important. Reading back, I mean.

From:

alt_bill

That's one thing I do rather envy you: your ability to compartmentalise.

I'm definitely better than I used to be. The occlumency exercises that ~~Snape bulli~~ I've been doing have helped.

Since I was the one who came up with it, I've been in on the secret from the beginning, so I don't really know what it's like, to have this whole other world open up all at once, explaining the curious things happening all around you. Cedric talked a bit about it, more than some of the others who had joined, and it made me realise, yeah, it IS a lot of information.

That's one thing your auror training helps you with, I suppose, isn't it? Processing a tonne of new data very quickly.

From:

alt_rachel

I can't even remember when I learnt to compartmentalise. A long time ago, well before I decided to try to become an Auror.

Anyway, processing data... I suppose. There's only so many hours in a day, though. I read quickly, but it's not as if I can prop the book open on my face and let it all drain in while I sleep.

From:

alt_rachel

You've teased me a few times about working too hard. The reason I work so hard is that if I'm the one going through a set of files for evidence of treason, and I find it, I can cover it up. Only, I can't cover up EVERYTHING I find, and I wouldn't want to -- first of all, if I never found anything, that would be suspicious (or make me look useless at my job). Second, some of what I find is straight up corruption, the sort of thing anyone would want stopped. But of course, it's not as if I can necessarily tell what I'm seeing, so I have to follow up just enough to know whether I should hand it over or bury it where it'll never be found.

Sometimes it's clear, like the evidence I found that time Massopust had collected on you. Sometimes it's not. All I can do is work as hard as I can, and hope I don't miss anything.

The good thing about the Order Lock is now, if I'm not sure, I can ask. (So long as I'm not being observed.) On the other hand, there's so much -- history, I guess. So much more to know, to remember. I feel like I'm never going to get through it all, and I NEED to, because what if there's something everyone assumes I know, and I don't?

From:

alt_bill

Well, I have a reputation for a pretty decent memory, but even I have to ask others to remind me of things at times. The problem is, the Lock was created for a much smaller group of people, so the information we were collectively remembering--and the security risks--were commensurately smaller, too. I suppose the reason it's spread so far and so fast is that it's so powerful and useful. But I do worry that we've raised the stakes so high that if it all goes to hell, it might come at a price that will be more than we can bear paying.

It's particularly difficult for you because of your job, of course. I'm threatened at work, but not the same way, and not nearly as badly. Minerva and Poppy play a dangerous double game, and of course, those at Doughty Conduit are disguised, and our younger cohort are getting more adept at artful concealment and deflection all the time.

But none of them, like you, are charged chiefly with the task of ferreting out enemies of the state. (Well, Ron could be, if he joins you.)

I'm full of admiration that you've done as much as you have without collapsing merely from the stress of it all. An Auror--and we all know how tough their requirements are--who has assisted not just one but two rebel groups.

I know that you're rather unfavourably impressed with our security, as compared to Dogstar's (and I haven't forgotten that the Aurors took most of their network down.)

Is there anything you think we're doing better than them? You did transfer your loyalty to us, after all. You can't blame me for being curious as to why.

From:

alt_rachel

I like your goals better.

I go back and forth about your methods. Dogstar is too willing to accept casualties -- to sacrifice a few in the service of a larger goal. I think the Order is too unwilling. You know the old saying about omelets. Alice wants an omelet, but not only does she not want to break the eggs, she wants to keep them all wrapped individually in cotton batting.

On the other hand, Dogstar will sometimes say, 'let's have ourselves an omelet!' and when they're done, there's shell and yolk splattered all over the wall and nothing on anyone's plate.