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[alt_bill]

Cardinal Report No. 1
Cruciatus

(Merlin, I hope there won't be anymore. But I have a feeling there will be)

Tonight at the order of Corax Mulciber, I personally cast the Cruciatus curse on Serena Dunkworth, the administrator at the camp at Bawsey. Corax claimed he was 'too busy' to do it and so sent me. This may be entirely an excuse, and he simply wanted to make me do it. The order was directed to me via the journals, and he specified that I must hold her under the spell for thirty seconds. In my replies to him, I did my best to hide that this goes entirely against my principles but acted as matter-of-fact about it as I could. I think if he knew how much I hate this, it would just make him order me to do it more often. Because yes, he's a sick fuck like that.

Dunkworth runs the camp from which several of the children came from that--well, I expect Mulciber was talking about the incident Ron and Sally-Anne and the rest doing the fly over witnessed. Apparently, the Ministry finds it useful to blame her for losing track of them.

Mulciber sent someone along with me by the name of Pontus Kendall, a minor clerk in Protectorate Affairs, who was tasked with timing the spell. And making sure I actually did it, I suppose. We were ushered into her office as soon as we arrived. She was behind her desk working. Waiting, maybe. "Corax Mulciber had sent us," I said.

"I know why you're here." She immediately stood up and walked around to the front of her desk. I realised afterward there was a thin rug there on the floor. So she would have somewhere soft to land when she fell. Softer, anyway. She'd thought ahead that much.

I stared at her, trying to dredge up the emotions I knew I would have to draw upon to perform the spell. Nobody said anything. She just looked at her feet, as I stood there, rotating my wand in my fingers and trying to think of reasons why I hated her, a perfect stranger. Why I had to hurt her.

I raised my wand finally, which made her look up finally, square into my eyes. I saw it then.

She was terrified.

That made me fumble the spell and when I said the word, nothing happened. Portus had his wristwatch in front of his face, and he peered over his wrist, frowning at me.

I--well, I did it. For a standard ten second burst. I thought I could, I don't know, break it up into smaller chunks for her, and maybe, just maybe, that would make it easier for her to bear. When I lifted the wand and stepped back, she gasped, 'Is that it? Are you done?'

Kendall told her that there were still twenty seconds to go.

'So get it over with already!'

I decided to do it until the end. But I wanted to do something to keep Mulciber from winning, so I stopped at nineteen seconds.

But that bloody berk Kendall wouldn't allow it. 'One second short. You have to finish the job.'

So I did.

I sent Kendall out, ordered him to go home, and then I...I tried to do what I could. It seems like so little. I helped her up off the floor, and I offered her a handkerchief because she had tears and bogeys all over her face. She wouldn't take it. She shook my hand off as if it were a snake, and she said that if I was done, I should simply go.

Then, like she was twisting the knife, she told me that I could tell Mulciber she had learned her lesson, and learned it quite well.

I quickly stepped up to her side, before she could retreat around the desk again, and I slipped a couple of lemons into the pocket of her robes. 'Squeeze these into hot water, and drink it. It'll help.'

She turned away angrily, but at least she didn't take them out and toss them away. Not while I was there to see, anyway.

When I left, she was floo calling someone--her husband perhaps--to ask him to come to side along apparate her home.

I apparated away and then sat down immediately to write down this report.

Bill