I don't even know what to say. It sounds as though you made the right answers to leave the door open without being too committal, but who the fuck knows? Who knows what he was looking for?
I don't know. I don't know if I could do it, if I were you. Or if I think you could do it, without losing yourself like Minerva has. You're right it would be an incredible opportunity -- but you'd have to pay a pretty fucking big cost for it.
You'd need to be damn fucking good at Occlumency before you could even try, though. So it's not like you could do anything soon.
You should talk to Minerva, now that she's more herself. And Macnair, or Snape: they'd be more able to tell you what kind of things you'd be getting yourself into. Snape at least seems to think it'd be possible for someone to do it without falling to bits, from what he's said -- I don't know if I'd trust his assessment, since he at least joined up with that lot willingly at first, but maybe you should talk to him and see why he thinks that.
And yeah, I wish I could talk to Dad too. I miss him so fucking much. It's odd: I've gone longer without talking to him or to Mom in the past, when I get caught up with something. But this time, knowing I can't anymore makes all the difference.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2013-01-24 01:10 am (UTC)I don't even know what to say. It sounds as though you made the right answers to leave the door open without being too committal, but who the fuck knows? Who knows what he was looking for?
I don't know. I don't know if I could do it, if I were you. Or if I think you could do it, without losing yourself like Minerva has. You're right it would be an incredible opportunity -- but you'd have to pay a pretty fucking big cost for it.
You'd need to be damn fucking good at Occlumency before you could even try, though. So it's not like you could do anything soon.
You should talk to Minerva, now that she's more herself. And Macnair, or Snape: they'd be more able to tell you what kind of things you'd be getting yourself into. Snape at least seems to think it'd be possible for someone to do it without falling to bits, from what he's said -- I don't know if I'd trust his assessment, since he at least joined up with that lot willingly at first, but maybe you should talk to him and see why he thinks that.
And yeah, I wish I could talk to Dad too. I miss him so fucking much. It's odd: I've gone longer without talking to him or to Mom in the past, when I get caught up with something. But this time, knowing I can't anymore makes all the difference.