we'll keep working on keeping them safe, man. as safe as we can.

the thing about your dad was that it wasn't

he was supposed to be low risk. for a damn good reason. he wasn't supposed to be in the line of fire. and when the fire came to him, it was something none of us could've planned for. ben and emmy, they went to ireland knowing full well what could happen.

guess what I'm trying to say is it's fucking terrifying when something like that happens when it isn't supposed to. when it's someone who needs to be safe. when it's something we can't control.

I'll make sure to bring up safety protocols at the next meeting. we do drills once a month at moddey, evacuation drills and the like. maybe we can set up a few scenario drills order wide just to test the system, make sure everyone knows their options and has a plan. maybe that'll help.

and wanting to get a bit numb and not remember things for a little while is part of it. it can just get out of hand, is all. when it turns into a habit you can't shake, and there's nothing else that'll do the trick.